Dealing with the physical effects of spinal injury are difficult to say the least but I think the psychological effects are even worse.
For some reason this time of year has been especially hard for me mentally. I think it’s because the fall and winter are my favorite times of year to ride. The weather on the Texas Gulf Coast is nothing short of spectacular right now with lows in the 40’s and 50’s which quickly climb to the high 60’s or low 70’s – in short, it’s the kind of weather you can ride all day in.
I see pictures of my former self and keep asking why this happened to me? I realize I’ll never know the answer to that question at least not in this life.
I keep telling myself that I have accomplished a great deal athletically and now God must want me to begin a new chapter in my life. I’m still not sure what that is but, perhaps, it is to share my thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same trials and tribulations that they are. That someone is having the same doubts about being a husband, father, and provider for his family.
There are so many unknowns and I guess that’s what makes the whole situation so scary… The unknown.