The last couple of days have been tough physically because my pain level has been pretty high. I always considered myself to be a tough guy and a man’s man but my injury has humbled me.
Nothing in the military and no amount of self-inflicted pain from my days as an endurance athlete could have prepared me for this kind of suffering. It’s kind of funny because nearly every book written about an endurance athlete talks at length about suffering and how the athlete, in a kind of morbid, masochistic way, enjoys suffering. Enjoys punishing himself, like he’s trying to pay a penance for some past transgression and I was no different. I loved spending five or six hours out on the road, punishing myself and more importantly, punishing my competition.
Perhaps all the cold dreary whether is playing with my emotions a bit too. I haven’t felt like doing much lately and even a seemingly small thing such as going to watch my youngest son’s high school soccer game the other night was all I could handle physically. I watched the second half from my car so I could get out of the could and sit in a more comfortable, reclining seat.
Fortunately we’ve had some good news, my long term disability and Social Security were both approved recently. That is a great load that has been lifted since we had nearly exhausted all of our savings; thank God we had it.
We also were able to get an appointment with the neurosurgeon who is the chief surgeon at Methodist Hospital in Houston, so I am greatly looking forward to hearing what he has to say about my situation. My current surgeon, whom I respect greatly, gave us about a 10% chance of surgery working which obviously doesn’t give you a warm and fuzzy feeling.
More next week after my appointment – God bless…